Sometimes I miss being sick. I know that sounds stupid and ignorant but sometimes I do miss being sick. And in my mind still being sick and me still being in recovery I think about these things often. Honestly in the past few weeks I’ve been having a really hard time with recovery. That is why I didn’t post much in the past week. I feel like I have relapsed a stupid amount of time and you would think I would get it by now but they keep coming. The waves of anxiety and fear around food keep coming. It seems like everytime I catch a break it always comes back.
With all of that said, my favorite thing to do when I feel myself slipping though is do a good scale smash. it is the most relieving thing you could think of. If you have never done on of these before you are truly missing out. We can get so fixated on the numbers when we are in our eating disorders. Weight becomes such a blown up thing in the mind of someone struggling with an eating disorder.
A scale smash literally is what is sounds like. At almost every National Eating Disorder Association Walk we smash scales. There is no need to know your weight whether in recovery or not. This is a hard thing to grasp for someone who has an eating disorder. Scale smashes basically help you to get rid of something that was holding you down by literally destroying it. This was a picture from the last NEDA walk we did. We ended up doing a scale smash right before the NEDA walk. If you ever have struggled with the number on the scale pro tip… Do a scale smash!!! Hahah 🙂